Jane was frequently depressive.  She was bipolar but infrequently manic. When she was, it was like being married to someone else. She was more... she was... tended to be on the depressive side. She... this was not diagnosed or anything for a long time, but I can't remember when it was... it was in the '80s and she began to take pills and... and some of the medications helped a lot and some did not.  And I... I think that... I was energetic and more positive and I think I probably got some sense of... oh being in control or being in charge of something by her being depressed and me being, kind of, hypermanic. At any rate we.. we both understood, and it was never a quarrel. There were several times... twice she got doctors to tell me that, yes, she was depressed but it was not my fault, and... and she was not mad at me, and she loved me, and... I knew it anyway, but she was afraid that I wouldn't. There were times when she was so depressed that I couldn't touch her - literally - I mean I couldn't rub her back or touch her hair, anything like that.  She didn't want to scream, but there were many times when she was only mildly depressed when making love cured her for a while, and I wrote somewhere or other that, you know, we made love whether we liked it or not, it helped and... we liked it anyway.