I was the oldest, my... my sister Barbara was two years younger and her birth must have really upset me very deeply. Now I don't remember any of this but they tell me about my... when my mother brought the baby back and was lying in bed with it and I was coming upstairs, calling, 'Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama', and I know that — as a result of psychoanalysis that I did later on — that a number of times I did things that... that could very much have injured her. That, for instance, at one point I got her to look out a window on the second or third floor and told her that I was looking out the window down below and she should lean out far enough to see me and I was coaxing her to lean out farther and farther, thank God some... somebody interrupted that.

You know, Freud tells about himself, when his younger sibling was born, he went on a... on a binge of throwing things out the window, he threw silverware and chinaware and all kinds of stuff, he just wanted to... and as a matter of fact I’ve seen that with my own children that... they get very shaky if they're carrying the baby or something so we take them someplace and have them throw a bunch of things off a cliff and then... then they get easier with themselves. Now, Barbara came to be a very shy... she had... she had one date in her life and it was with somebody that... the family would have disapproved if... if she could have had a date with anybody else, because he was Jewish. Otherwise she had a few girlfriends but mostly... she... she just stayed home which in a way is what my mother wanted us all to do, we were to stay home and follow her direction, follow her morality, do what she believed we ought to do and the outside world, more and more, came to seem wicked to her.